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Joke of the Day

"my life thats it thats the joke"

"What is trust? Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob."

"Incidentally, the WORST trick the Devil ever pulled was trying to convince the world he wasn't fat by wearing a t-shirt in the pool."

"I saw an image of the Virgin Mary on a pumpkin! It squashed all of my doubts... And, reinforced my faith in Gourd."

"""911, what's your emergency?"" ""Hi. Long time listener, first time caller."" ""That's really funny."" ""Thank you. Anyways, I'm being stabbed."""

"Why doesn't Jesus buy beer? Hebrews."

"When a guy tries to talk to me while at a urinal I instantly slide over and start pissing in his urinal too. See how friendly he really is"

"Not tryin' to brag, but my sex life is like a dormant volcano. It was fiery, but now it's inactive. Also, I killed a bunch of villagers."

"shit i lost the instructions to my shampoo and now there's blood EVERYWHERE"

"What sound does an Italian American microwave make? Bada bing!"