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Joke of the Day

"It's fine when Santa does it, but when I see you when you're sleeping & know when you're awake it's ""creepy"" and ""sir, you're under arrest"""

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"What's the best part of having Miley Cyrus over for thanksgiving dinner? Unlimited twerky"
"[at church] ""I'm here for the blood."""
"How do you make a journalist laugh? By giving them ar-ticles!"
"ME: I propose teaching pandas to play pattycake bec- ZOOKEEPER: How do you keep getting in here? ZOO OFFICIAL: Wait. Let's hear him out."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cameron ! Cameron who ? Cameron film are needed to take pictures !"
"If Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Bernie Sanders were stuck on an island, who would survive? America"
"What do Whitney Houston and Antarctica have in common? 100% chance of snow"
"Star Wars should cast an Indian actor to play Mace Hindu."
"I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them."