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Joke of the Day

"*Leans head up to wife as I'm dying* Me: My only regret is... *Coughs loudly* Me: ...not having something cooler to say as I die. *Dies*"

"What did the Mexican say when two houses fell on him? Get off me homes."

"You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success and, really, there's no real difference between me and George Clooney."

"What's the difference between an old-time organ grinder and a heroin addict? One has a monkey on a leash and the other has a monkey on his back."

"Why did the seamen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong pair of socks this morning."

"""Sound the alarm!"" ""Dude, there's no way that thing will fit."""

"Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? It heard the ref was blowing fowls."

"has anyone fixed the sound barrier yet"

"Why did the chicken decide not to cross the road? because it did."

"I love my dog. He's a real son-of-a-bitch."