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Joke of the Day

"What's a fresh vegetable? One that insults a farmer."

"If you love something, set it free. Maybe not sharks though. Or bees. Viruses. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don't love anything."

"Anytime my 6 yr old daughter replies with 'What?', there's always that split second where I fight my urge to start quoting Pulp Fiction."

"Why did the blonde snort splenda? She thought it was diet coke."

"Say you're being attacked by a circus mob. What's the best strategy? Go for the juggler."

"Contrary to popular belief, in Engineering, you do meet tons of women... Just not very many"

"What is a traveler's favorite font? Times New Roamin'!"

"I hear they took Aaron Hernandez out of Madden and put him in Grand Theft Auto V."

"My wife said she had a doctor's appointment at 2:30. I asked her if she was sure it wasn't a dentist's appointment."

"I wish i was Batman Because my parents would be dead."