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Joke of the Day

"MEN: Developed Theory of Relatively. Walked on the Moon. Painted the Mona Lisa. Baffled by bra hooks."

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"Squirrel sex What did the squirrel say after fucking an acorn? Best nut of my life"
"STRANGER: she has a book. cute and smart ME: [taking a bite of the small layer cake i made to look like a book] STRANGER: a stunning genius"
"""knock knock"".. ""who's there?"" ""dave"" ""dave who?"" dave struggled to hold back the tears as he realised his grandmothers alzheimers is getting worse"
"What rating do pirate movies always get? PG-13"
"How many developers does it take to change a light bulb? None. That's a hardware problem."
"It's now apparently politically incorrect to say ""Black paint"" Now you have to say ""Tyrone can you please go paint the fence?""."
"Most pencils have erasers But that's beside the point"
"Me: smells like upyou'refreetogo in here. Cop: what's upyou'refreetogo? Me: *finger guns* catch ya later Cop: aww damn lol got me again"
"What do you call an Extraterrestrial from Melbourne? An Australien."
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