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Joke of the Day
"What's the hardest part of washing a vegetable? putting them back in the wheelchair"
Next Joke
"[DEATH ROW] WARDEN: Last meal? CON: Just a glass of lemonade please *Drinks lemonade/Burps* WARDEN: Pardon [CON WALKS FREE]"
"The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies you'd almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds."
"[furniture store] Wife: We're putting in a bar. Salesman: OK Wife: And... S: Yes? W: Go ahead, say it. Me: WE'RE GONNA NEED A STOOL SAMPLE."
"Anybody have plans to stare at their phone someplace exciting this weekend?"
"Yoda: In the Light Side, the real power is. Luke: The Emperor controls the galaxy. You live in a swamp."
"when ever yo mama farts she gets fined by the EPA for polluting."
"What does the earth eat for breakfast? Continental breakfast, served on tectonic plates."
"Liven up any boring conversation by telling people you have a glass eye and then watch them try and figure out which one it is."
"What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get support, people will think we're nuts."