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Joke of the Day

"I asked a guy what his favorite movie was earlier today. And it was not Paul Blart: Mall Cop"

"What did water say when it found out hydrogen is a diatomic? H2? Oh!"

"Women's Rights... What?. did you expect more?"

"What is the difference between snowman and snowwoman? snowballs"

"Doctor doctor I keep thinking I'm a telephone. Doctor: Why's that? I keep getting calls in the night."

"I got into a car accident with a midget... He got out of his car, angrily shaking his fist and yelled, ""I'm NOT happy!"" ""Well,"" I replied, ""which one are you?"""

"You know times are hard when you call 911 for an ambulance and they tell you to have gas money ready."

"A friend of mine is allergic to both peanut butter and bees, which he discovered when he bit into the worst sandwich ever."

"I'm always hard at work. But Human Resources keeps telling me that it's extremely inappropriate to have erections at the office."

"Did you hear about the magic tractor? Turned into a field."