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Joke of the Day

"Dear Cool People, they didn't name a candy after you, did they? Love, Nerds."

"[PAPARAZZI] Bugs Bunny is it true u were shot by Elmer Fudd [BB]sips drink that's ridiculous water shoots out of holes No more questions"

"What's the difference between Obama and Osama? O(b-s)ma^2"

"The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth."

"Is that mine? I was walking down the street when I saw black guy with a laptop. Is that mine? I thought. It looks exactly like mine... but that can't be... Mine should be at home cleaning my shoes."

"Before I got on the toilet, I was trying to look for toilet paper... And I almost lost my shit."

"I found out someone's been impersonating me... Well two can play at that game."

"He was in a pub when he proposed. It was very romantic he got up on one knee."

"Did you hear about Han's new band? It's not as good as his solo stuff."

"What's a porn star's favorite dessert? Cookies and MILF"