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Joke of the Day

"If I won $900,000,000, I'd give a quarter of it to charity... ...not sure what I'd do with the other $899,999,999.75 though."

"Babies are the most helpless & vulnerable of humans, it's fked up that they're the only humans you're allowed to just throw into the air."

"What is a police called on her period? red bull"

"Silver and lead are sitting at a bar and gold walks in. Silver yells "" au, get outta here! """

"Why Do women wear panties with flowers on them? In loving memory of all the faces that were buried there."

"Dear North Carolina, if you let guys marry each other, you'll have more available women in your family to date!"

"Want to hear a joke about Hillary Clinton's emails? [deleted]"

"What happened when the cannibal was late to the dinner party? He got the cold shoulder."

"My friend told me a joke about alarms I thought it was a snooze."

"My kids are asking to be fed and cared for and stuff. This parenting thing is bullshit."