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Joke of the Day

"A Chinese man walks into a bar... and the bartender says, "" Why the Wong face?"""

"Doctor doctor I keep thinking I'm a spoon. Sit there and don't stir."

"What is a stuttering ballerinas favourite day of the week Tu-Tu Tuesday"

"They don't make forks like they used to. Modern plastic ware makes me miss the good old tines."

"So my lesbian neighbours asked me what I wanted for my birthday... They got me a Rolex. I guess they misunderstood when I said ""I wanna watch""."

"What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana's head before she died? The Dashboard"

"What do you call a masturbating pickle? Jerkin' Gherkin"

"6: Daddy the floor is lava! Me: Oh yeah? *Pushes wife off chair*"

"When my family says things like...why don't you have kids yet? I say ""Because I didn't get drunk & do the football team, Sasha."""

"For each like, I'll take a shot on New Years..."