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Joke of the Day

"What happened when Isaac Newton met the apple? He found the apple was a surprisingly down-to-Earth kinda guy."

"Cookie Monster delivering the eulogy at Bert's funeral. Head bowed low. Stillness. ""Me want cookies,"" he sadly intones. ""Me want cookies."""

"Me and Justin Trudeau have alot in common... We both hope our budget will balance itself"

"How can I know hundreds of digits of pi But not know the digits of your phone number?"

"What do you call a gay man in Russia? Forbidden fruit."

"Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands... Police say that he topped himself."

"Why are fire engines red? You would be too if you were running down the road with your hose hanging out!"

"What does JCPenny and teenagers have in common? Pants 50% off"

"I think metals are my favorite type of element The other ones just seem so lackluster."

"""I'm so hungry, I could eat a human baby."" Everyone in Whole Foods stares at me stunned ""Corn-fed organic of course, I'm not a monster."""