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Joke of the Day

"Why do fishermen fish in north America? 'Cause they're all about that bass"

"Obama has been endorsed by Warren Buffett, Colin Powell, Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates. Romney has been endorsed by Lindsay Lohan."

"A good rule of thumb is It's opposable."

"I said to this bloke,""I'm going to be performing in the play *Hamlet* at a local theatre."" He said,""Are you being facetious?"" I said,""No- Polonius."""

"Stalin bragged that his death camps were better than Hitler's. Hitler responded, ""Jewish."""

"I just started the tequila diet and I'm making great progress! I've already lost 2 days!"

"My parents just said they want another child. ""I'd love a sibling!"" I said. ""That's not what we meant."" they replied."

"A cannibal is having a meal at a restaurant After finishing his main course he tells the waiter ""Czech please"""

"Dyslexia didn't stop Mark Twain being a great writer He didn't even suffer from it."

"I needed to go to the toilet but we were out of toilet roll So I pissed in the sink"