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Joke of the Day

"Stalin bragged that his death camps were better than Hitler's. Hitler responded, ""Jewish."""

"COP: careful, this guy's insane DETECTIVE: ok [he walks into the interrogation room] ME: i dont like the creme part of oreos D: jesus christ"

"Vacuumed a section of carpet 20 times before I realized I was trying to clean up a patch of sunshine. Intellectual powerhouse. Right here."

"What's the difference between a canoe and a jew? Canoes tip"

"What was the under-appreciated, often-exploited kitchen contractor's complaint? I'm always taken for granite!"

"Michael died while working at the clock factory. None of his friends were sad about it, they all said his time had come."

"The older I get, the more I think I owe my parents an apology..."

"I was just diagnosed with colorblindness... I was so surprised, it just came out of the green!"

"I have so much uneaten hummus in my refrigerator, it's borderline racist."

"So I'm balls deep in this guys ass and I go ahead and try to give him a reach-around... And he was hard.. How fucking gay is that?"