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Joke of the Day

"When my wife came home with a puppy, I knew better than to question her. She's the chef, after all."

"Just been reading how more people die from choking on sweets' packaging than the sweets themselves. Gums don't kill people, wrappers do."

"I got kicked out of the library for putting a ""Women's Rights"" book in the the fiction section."

"Engraved on a hypochondriac's tombstone... See, I told you I was sick."

"Hilary and Trump are on a sinking boat. Who is saved? America"

"Do you think the husband of the GPS lady listens to her directions?"

"A man walked into a bar. He should have been watching where we was going."

"The ironic but 'real' dangers of immunisations Kid immunised for measles. The next day he dies from the shot."

"I hate Windows Embedded systems so much... They make me WinCE"

"Guy asked me today if I've ever owned a dog. I was like lmao yeah I own dogs all the time they can't even say shit back"