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Joke of the Day

"Ever been to the restaurant owned by the fundamentalist church? No? Well, if you do go there I don't suggest getting the bible sandwich. They really try to shove it down your throat."

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"What do you call an octopus that loves jokes? A knock-knocktopus."
"Keep your friends close & your enemies, in your trunk. Unless you're crossing a border. Then don't do that."
"I broke up with my girlfriend when I found out she only has 4 toes on each foot.... Turns out I'm lack-toes intolerant.."
"What's the difference between a mosque and a school? I don't know, I just fly the drones."
"Did you haer about the dyslexic insomniac atheist? He would spend all night long awake thinking about whether or not there was a dog."
"What do you call a Spartan king with a disease? Leonitis"
"WEDDINGH NIGHT What is long and hard and a Polish bride gets on her wedding night? A new last name"
"Some guy told me I wasn't funny today, so I punched him in his face because nobody likes liars."
"- Are you even listening to me? - Of course I am - Ok, what did I just ask you? - If I'm listening to you"