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Joke of the Day

"Why is saying "" I'm sorry"" and ""I apologize"" mean the same thing... ...unless your at a funeral."

"What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do? He stays awake all night wondering if there is a dog."

"A blonde was swimming. She swam deeper and deeper until she drowned. Her husband came home and found her dead in the bathtub."

"What did Kermit eat after he got divorced? Pork Chops"

"A bird flew in my bathroom window when I was peeing.. We stared at each other's peckers."

"I got into an argument with my parents about video games. It was a stupid reason to fallout for."

"Knock Knock Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Nobody who? ..."

"I'm THIS MANY drunk!! *holds up waffle*"

"Ah, the great Rental Car Kabuki Dance: I turn down the coverage and prepaid gas, the clerk admonishes me for the folly of my ways."