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Joke of the Day

"How to win an argument. 1. Have a vagina. 2. That's it. 3. You win. 4. Congratulations."

"So, I found three different sized socks while cleaning my room. That's odd..."

"I don't mean to brag but I'm pretty lonely for a girl with an extensive action figure collection AND a fear of rocking chairs."

"Why are penguins socially awkward? Because they can't break the ice."

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile I told her that's an awfully big word for a ten year old"

"It's important to know your neighbors by name. For instance, ""Mr. Mean Old Man"" and his wife, ""Screamy""."

"Max wondered why the ball was slowing growing larger.... and then it hit him."

"Went to a ginger convention today There wasn't a soul there."

"You're not in a serious relationship until he leaves you in a room alone with his phone."

"GOD: welcome to Heaven I will answer any question you want now. ME: why does Target have 25 checkout lanes with only 2 always open? GOD: ..."