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Joke of the Day

"I'm getting to the age where I could be a cougar, but Wikipedia says cougars are ""slender and agile"" which pretty much rules that out."

"My girlfriend says her doctor said no sex for 2 weeks ..ahh oh k but what your dentist say..!"

"This national park is nice but the cell service sucks. I can only enjoy natural beauty if I can tweet ironically about it."

"Why are school shooters more likely to be white people? White people actually go to school. Black people stay home and shoot people in their own neighborhood."

"What did the mother Buffalo say when her boy left for college? BYE-SON!"

"What kind of dog can tell time? A clockshund!"

"I told my wife I wanted to try anal sex She told me she's been having sex with an asshole for years."

"This joke up me crack everytime I hear it Will tell you after next bowel movement."

"I never took Complex Anal. in college So I had to find out about the residue theorem the hard way."

"The creator of Mad Libs has died. His friends described him as a warm and pulpy man who loved his wife and pelicans. He will be deeply pooped."