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Joke of the Day

"JOB OPPORTUNITY: Riot police officers needed. Interviews are being held tomorrow. Come early.... ....beat the crowd."

"I take my women how I take the stairs... I take my women how I take the stairs..two at a time."

"What's the difference between the calendar and you? A calendar has a date on Valentine's day."

"I like my woman like i like my coffee... Hot, wet, and all over my crotch"

"Maybe my grandma stayed married for 50 yrs because she never said stuff like ""I just wish he would support me, you know, creatively."""

"I played a blank CD at full blast yesterday ...the mimes next door went nuts."

"What do the Chinese call their spies? Secret Asians."

"After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for almost 10 years. But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it."

"Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face."

"I like my men like I like my coffee. Tied up in a burlap sack and dragged through Columbia behind a donkey."