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Joke of the Day

"I had to take the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector. All the beeping was giving me a headache and making me sleepy."

Next Joke
 
"How long does an owl live? six and a half books."
"Man #1 was talking to man #2. Man #2 asked man #1 how his wife Nature was doing. He said ""fine"" Then they heard ""It's time to go!"" #1 said ""well Nature is calling, I've got to go #2."
"My Gran just asked me ""What's the name of that God-damn Jew who keeps hiding stuff around my house!?"" It's Alzheimer, grandma. Alzheimer."
"Husband for sale: 1972 model, white in colour, a bit hard on gas but comes with a spare tire."
"Groin cream... Not suitable for those with a nut allergy."
"Feline-loving fashionista's favorite music? Techno. *boots-n-cats-n-boots-n-cats-n-boots-n-cats*"
"Why are Prank Videos AIDS? Because they are people gone sexual, happen in the hood and is sex gone wrong."
"In the middle ages, it didn't take long to learn human anatomy. You could learn it all with one knight and a scalpel."
"I don't go back to my hometown very often because I've burned too many bridges. And also because I am wanted for bridge arson."