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Joke of the Day
"How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick."
Next Joke
"Q: What kind of fish has two knees? A: A tunee fish."
"Wild horses could definitely drag me away. Tame horses could too. A slightly muscular hamster probably could drag me away at this point."
"[spelling bee] Your word is 'mnemonic' ""Can you use it in a sentence?"" Memory Needs Every Method Of Nurturing Its Capacity"
"As I've gotten older, every time I look in the mirror I see my dad more and more. I guess its time to move out, its starting to get weird."
"Where do terrorists store their money? In the West Bank"
"I've always wanted to be the best dead person ever But the competition is stiff."
"Why does the alphabet like to piss on the periodic table? Because it's elemental pee!"
"Police:Is there anything you can tell us about your attacker. Me:He was much better at fighting than me. Police:Ok is there anything else?"
"Cathy on FB is ""feeling annoyed"" and is asking why people even own cell phones if they're not gonna answer. Can I tell her? Pleeease."