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Joke of the Day
"I've always wanted to be the best dead person ever But the competition is stiff."
Next Joke
"Science tells us there are far fewer female autists than male... But thanks to the pay gap, there are far more female starving autists."
"Dr: You've gained some weight Me: You said I should take it easy Dr: That was a yr ago & you were sick Me: WELL I'M NOT A MIND READER"
"First witch: My beauty is timeless. Second witch: Yes it could stop a clock."
"I don't think Major Tom was much of an astronaut - Ground Control had to tell him to put his helmet on, FFS. That's pretty basic stuff."
"How do you make a Kleenex dance? Blow a little boogie into it!"
"Bill Gates farted in an apple store and stank up the whole place, But it's their fault for not having windows."
"What is a Mexicans closing sales pitch? Kay-so-deal-a?"
"Why did the burgler take a bath? He wanted to have a 'clean getaway'."
"How do you know it's midnight at the Neverland Ranch? The big hand's touching the little hand."