166370

Joke of the Day

"Did you know scientists just announced diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your genes"

"THERAPIST: you're running from something. what do u think it might be? [goose outside the window does throat-slitting motion] ME: uhfailure"

"I spilled some coffee. My wife called it grounds for divorce."

"Why did the wine critic get kicked off the nudist beach? Because he was walking around with a semillon (semi-on)"

"I don't care what anybody says, my six hours of Black Friday shopping saved me at least $7.50."

"Ke$ha is what would happen if a garbage can came to life."

"I've been dating this girl who works at the zoo. I'm pretty sure she's a keeper."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because netizens were showing shallow sympathy for #YulinDogMeatFestival on the other side."

"Why does a pterodactyl always urinate on the side of the bowl? Because the pee is silent."

"A red boat and a blue boat crash into each other in the ocean... All the passengers were marooned."