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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? A: They don't have balls to scratch."

"""Can I pet your dog?"" ""Sure, but he can be aggressive."" [He pushes a pamphlet about the dangers of gluten towards me with his nose]"

"A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot... The bartender says, ""Wow! That is really cool! Where did you get it?"" ""Africa"", says the parrot."

"My wife said she's breaking up with me, because of my obsession with rhyming, I nearly choked on my tea, what terrible timing!"

"What do you call an Abortion in Prague? A canceled Czech."

"How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool."

"It's funny how all those ""best places in the world"" lists always forget to include the Internet."

"Who is your's Your Father's- Mother's- daunghter-in-law's husband is your?"

"After watching the Olympics, a little boy says to his mom, ""When I grow up, I want to be like Ryan Lochte!"" She says, ""Honey, you can't have it both ways."""

"I entered Reddit's pun contest.... .... I submitted ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would get an upvote. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did."