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Joke of the Day

"I entered Reddit's pun contest.... .... I submitted ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would get an upvote. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did."

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"Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because it is the scenter (centre)."
"Billy Connolly Tells Just About the Funniest Story Ever"
"What do you call it when a chickpea gets killed? Hummuside"
"The main thing I want this holiday season is for someone to wake me when it's over."
"My ex-wife still misses me... but her aim is gettin' better!"
"Golfer: ""Please stop checking your watch all the time caddy. It's distracting!"" Caddy: ""This isn't a watch sir its a compass!"""
"I named my kids after the place they were conceived Although I'm almost 100 percent sure Intheass isn't mine."
"My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am, can you fucking believe that, 2:30am. Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes."
"Many English names are derived from occupations, like Fletcher (arrow maker), Cooper (barrel maker), or Cunningham (tricky pig)."