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Joke of the Day

"My wife said she's breaking up with me, because of my obsession with rhyming, I nearly choked on my tea, what terrible timing!"

"Confucius says Man entering airport door sideways bound to Bangkok"

"The advantage of using a nailcutter is, you won't get scratchmark on your forehead skin and the disadvantage is, you can't peel off garlic skin."

"For tentative people there's no place like ""erm""."

"You've got to hand it to short people. Because sometimes they can't reach."

"[drinks milk from carton] WHY AREN'T YOU USING A GLASS?!? ""I went to the eye doctor"" What does that mean? ""He said I don't need glasses"""

"My Son's #1 Concern When my three-year-old was told to pee in a cup at the doctor's office, he unexpectedly got nervous. With a shaking voice, he asked, ""Do I have to drink it?"""

"My girlfriend is like the square root of -1 Imaginary"

"What's the funniest fish in the world? Piranhahahahaha Don't lynch me"

"Why was Hitler confused when he arrived in hell? He did Nazi the Aryan his ways."