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Joke of the Day

"I had a friend... ... who wanted to do a project about youth in Asia. Unfortunately, the government pulled the plug on it."

"Woke up so hungry I could eat my own cooking!"

"The light at the end of the tunnel better be a damn computer screen"

"*interrupts eulogy* SOMEONE SAID THAT ALMOST WORD FOR WORD AT THE LAST FUNERAL"

"What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common? They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs."

"I'm at my most NASCAR driver when I really have to pee."

"Have you ever walked into a room and forgot what you went in for? I done it the other day, I walked in and completely forgot why - my mind went blank. 3 seconds later I shat myself."

"FIRST PIGLET: How do you know your boyfriend loves you? SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters with lots of hogs and kisses."

"I like my women like I like my champagne 13 years old and smashed over the bow of my yacht"

"Dark humour is like food Not everyone gets it"