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Joke of the Day

"Hey Chumbawamba, we kept you down."

"I asked a refugee: ""How did you get out of Iraq?"" He answered: ""Iran"""

"There was once a viking who believed in reincarnation. He was hoping that after dying he'd be Bjorn again."

"There's nothing more exciting than waking up with a half eaten burger in your hand."

"What do you call a nosy pepper? Jalapeno business!"

"Which 20th century President's wife looked like she could have been LGBT? Eleanor Brucevelt."

"For a second I thought this cookie had raisins in it, but luckily they're just spider egg sacs."

"Coworker: I never would've guessed you're in your 30's. You look so young. Me: I'm old at heart."

"Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she'll just let it go."

"How many Orthodox Hasidic Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, ya mensch. It's Shabbat."