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Joke of the Day

"I don't need a hot tub, I prefer for a mildly attractive tub with a great sense of humor and a good job."

"how do I know I'm old? I can hear teens having a good time and I'm mad about it"

"What's the difference between iFunny features and the gif subreddit? A week."

"What did the alien say to the gas pump ? Don't you know its rude to stick your finger in your ear when I'm talking to you !"

"Whats grosser then gross? Shoving 12 oysters up your grandmothers vagina and sucking out 13."

"I always check my smoke alarms to make sure they're working. I call it ""cooking"""

"Mom: Want to come over for dinner? Me: No thanks, already ate Mom: What did you have? Me: Peanut butter Mom: With? Me: Spoon"

"What do frogs deal? Croakaine"

"Q:Why doesn't ed have a girlfriend? A: because she ran"

"IAN: Why is that bear hanging out in the bar? ME: He's a well known, gimmick. IAN: Really? ME: That's Conan. Conan The Bar Bear, Ian."