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Joke of the Day

"A girl recently asked me which Beatles song describes her the best... I guess 'She's so heavy' wasn't the best choice."

"[first date] HER: I'm really into guys with ambitions ME: *trying to impress her* that's perfect, I have two frogs"

"""They had to amputate them both at the ankles,"" said Tom, defeated."

"What do you call a policeman with a thing for MLP? A clop cop."

"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink... However, you can certainly stand there until it gets thirsty."

"Two magicians were walking down the street... one turned into a store."

"What did the bumble bee striker say? Hive scored!"

"It has been proven that girls with profile picture of them selves in the mirror are more likely to send nudes."

"How can a line be both short and long? It's a long line of midgets!"

"My son got kicked out of school for letting a girl jerk him off in class. That's three schools now. Maybe teaching isn't for him. (Joke by Jimmy Carr)"