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Joke of the Day

"How do you know that you're too old? When the priest doesn't look at you anymore."

"I've completely cocooned myself in this blanket, and I'm not coming out until I'm a fully functional adult or a butterfly."

"Do the republicans shocked that Trump is their nominee also get surprised when they put cake batter in the oven and it becomes a cake?"

"Redditor's Headstone Inscription NOW I KNOW I'M LATE SO WILL LIKELY GET BURIED"

"Please stop putting flyers on my windshield in parking lots. I have no desire to see your new band called ""Parking Violation""."

"What instant coffee and Sasha Grey have in common? 3 in 1"

"What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist."

"Why do babies love sticking things in their mouth? And why doesn't my girlfriend share this impulse?"

"The only way I'd want to watch a video of you pouring a bucket of ice water over your head is if you promise you drown at the end."

"You and Me = Grand Unification"