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Joke of the Day

"No more ""if you're bf stops playing his game to text you..."" If your girlfriend understands to give texting a rest when you're playing video games, marry her."

Next Joke
 
"What do you call a political conservative woman who is required to always be there? Amanda Tory"
"Girlfriends are like phone apps They come with in-app purchases, and need the reassurance of updates to function well."
"Why did Moby Dick join a heavy metal band? He could really whale."
"My girlfriend is like the Samsung Note7 She blows up at any given moment."
"My mom said follow your dreams, So I went back to bed."
"FBI: If you testify you'll have to go into the Witness Protection Program ME: I'll do it FBI: Your wife and kids too ME: Oh ok never mind"
"What do you get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow? I have no idea but I wouldn't milk it."
"Wrinkle Cream My nine-year-old daughter walked in while I was getting ready for work. ""What are you doing?"" she asked. ""Putting on my wrinkle cream,"" I answered. ""Oh,"" she said, walking away. """
"As I'm getting older I find that I'm using my glasses more When I was young I just drank straight from the bottle"