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Joke of the Day

"Life is like a penis Its very short but when it gets hard it seems very long"

"What do you call it when frankenstein's monster's wife gets her period? Her monstrual cycle"

"Told a chemist a joke No reaction"

"How can you tell when a salesperson is lying? His lips are moving."

"A good way to make a car dealer uncomfortable is to say, ""Tell me if you can hear this,"" and then get in the trunk and start screaming."

"I have decided to leave my past behind me, so if I owe you money... I'm sorry, but I've moved on, and maybe it's time that you do too."

"Me: This painting really speaks to me. Mona Lisa: You do way too many drugs."

"*passive aggressively turns off Christmas lights when someone stops too long to look at them*"

"Knock knock! (A joke from my 5 year old sister) Knock knock! Who's there? Boo Boo who? Don't cry it's only a joke! ...I got rekt"

"An oldie for the road This randomly popped into my head at work and as I started saying it, my boss finished it. *Twats* that? I *cunt* hear you. *Tits* okay. I'll *finger* it out later."