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Joke of the Day

"Optimist: A college student who opens his wallet and expects to find money."

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"What company makes the best fireworks? Spacex"
"How can you tell a gamer from a rugby player? Ask them if they play league."
"Why do they call it a Wonderbra? Because you take it off and wonder where their tits went."
"Girl, do you have 67 protons? Cuz you a Ho"
"[on phone] mom I need u to pick me up from the restaurant right now *whispers* no the date is going terrible, she pronounced it 'pokey-man'"
"When I think of you, I touch myself. With my finger. In the back of my throat to help me vomit because you make me nauseous."
"sorry for my absence, i've been hiding inside my head"
"I asked an Indian if he likes custard He said, ""not in general."""
"If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? Ans : No time at all it is already built."