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Joke of the Day

"Her cooking is so bad, it would make medicine sick!"

"Where does the Empire buy their robes? The Darth Mall!"

"I like to bring ants on planes and say ""All the people down there look like you!"" They can't understand me, but they like the company."

"Don't say ""tits."" It's crass and disrespectful. Instead, say ""lady tits."""

"If your name is Brian and your home WiFi isn't called ""Bri-Fi"", what are you doing?"

"Guess what I had for breakfast this morning. .. Ebola of cereal!"

"Hey ladies breastfeeding in public,... why don't you ever smile in my pictures?"

"Why do we PARK on a DRIVEway, but my mom's boyfriend Craig won't let me call him Dad when we hug?"

"I went to the shops to get eight cans of sprite. But when i was walking back i realized Id only picked 7 up"

"You know what the worst part about being tall and funny is? My jokes go right over most people's head."