166083

Joke of the Day

"these days it seems like all the talented promisimg sandwich artists work for Subway, churning out the same lifeless corporate sandwibch art"

"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker and a hooker with dysentery? One of them shucks between fits."

"Why can't a bike stand on its own? It's two tired."

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? By broom ... JK, rolling"

"Confucious say Man walking down the street carrying a 5-disc CD changer... ...is either walking to or from the Salvation Army."

"Pirate walks in a bar with his ship's steering wheel stuffed in his pants. The bartender asks do you know that's in your pants? Arrr yes. It's drivin me nuts!"

"Apparently there was a new episode of ""Biggest Loser"" on tonight... Indianapolis Colts edition."

"Best excuse for missing work The voices told me to clean the guns."

"I went for a job interview as a blacksmith yesterday. He said, ""Have you ever shoed a horse?"" I said, ""No, but I've told a donkey to fuck off."""

"Sometimes you have to Photoshop your life Sometimes you have to #Photoshop your life .. Touch up edges Adjust the tones Blur the background n Crop some people out :D"