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Joke of the Day
"*Ubers to my parking spot at Costco*"
Next Joke
"There are two rules for success... 1) Don't tell all you know"
"Why does Saudi Arabia have so much oil? Because the women are not allowed to drive."
"Who gets the job of writing the fortunes in the cookies? I want that job. I could really screw with some people."
"Sex while married"
"'So Timmy, how did you fall into that well?' 'Oh. I never fell in, I was p- *sees Lassie do cut throat motion* -was jumping in.'"
"According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, ""neighborhood watch"" isn't what I thought it was"
"I always smoke after sex. I've quit now for 16 years."
"How do you get a witch pregnant? Ya fuck her."
"Always have a fake name at the ready so you don't tell the cops something stupid, like ""Andrew Granola."""