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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a pineapple and the White House? A pineapples pricks are on the outside."

"I understand why there were reindeer named Dasher, Dancer and Prancer, but how did Vixen earn her name. What is Santa hiding"

"What does Hitler do on a windy day? He flies a kike."

"Hold the door for your girlfriend. Listen to the door. Tell the door everything will be okay. Leave your girlfriend for the door."

"I was on a first date. ""How many women have you slept with?"" she asked. I said, ""Do you want me to round it to the nearest ten?"" ""Oh, I say. Go on then."" she laughed. I said, ""0."""

"My wife's posted picture she took of me in the shower didn't go viral... Ain't no big thing."

"I shower with a suicide note in case I slip and die, at least I can make it look intentional instead of stupid."

"What is Jesus' favorite band? Nine Inch Nails"

"In the Ben Affleck version, Batman's parents kill themselves."

"Yo mama so fat in order to meet new carbon emissions regulations, we had to cap her ass"