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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't Kevin from Home Alone call the cops when the burglars came around? He was running a trap house."

"What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both live underground, apart from the eagle."

"I pointed to two old farts sitting across the bar and told my friend ""That's us in 10 years"". He said ""Dude, that's a mirror"""

"Son, it's finally the time for us to talk about sex -- But dad! -- No buts! That is all."

"Round Sheep A farmer asked me ""Can you help me round up my sheep?"" I said ""How many have you got?"" He said ""78"" I said ""we will call that 80!"""

"One blonde says to another, ""I slept with a Brazilian last night"". The other blonde says, ""Wow, how many is that""?"

"I'll betcha that Heimlich guy gets a lot of pats on the back."

"What do you call a white guy who grew up in the ghetto? Tarzan."

"What is the worst way to ask for a cigarette in San Francisco? ""You got a fag I can bum?"""

"I treat women well cause I'm a real man. Also, if I'm nice to them maybe they'll come over and kill this spider for me"