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Joke of the Day

"Why did Johnny drop his ice cream? No you sadistic fucks, he did not get railed by a truck. He just tripped and fell :)"

"I like to tell self-referential jokes. Like this one"

"Sexist joke (insulting but funny) What do you call a woman who's lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced!"

"I don't like working at the IRS It's incredibly taxing"

"I asked my wife if she was a contortionist... And she got totally bent out of shape."

"Me: Is there something wrong with your pasta? 4-year-old: It's not a doughnut."

"Why is it that when your dog brings you things he's killed it's cute, but when I do it we have to get the police involved?"

"What Do you Call Neil Degrasse Tyson when he pours champagne on his bare chest? **An astro-fizzy-tits**"

"What do you call a chiropractor in Egypt? A cairopractor."

"Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest and disingenuous."