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Joke of the Day

"Why can't I think of a word that means something really good or really bad depending on how you use it in a sentence? Fuck!"

Next Joke
 
"Why did the chicken cross the road? .... because Bernie Sanders challenged him to a debate about the future of America."
"Music is like candy Just throw out the wrappers."
"I'm starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all ..."
"Why did the dog fail his driving test? Because he's a dog. Dogs cannot drive."
"Q: What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins? A: A pair of Re-bachs."
"I just don't understand how moats ever went out of style."
"Driving and trying to read twitter, I just ran over a poodle. Unfortunately I drive a Yaris. My car got a dent and the poodle got annoyed."
"29 months? Yeah, no, I meant how old is your kid in HOURS."
"They said she was a cat lady but when I threw her off a small building she didn't land on her feet and now I'm in jail for murder."