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Joke of the Day

"What's Forrest Gump's Password? 1FORREST1"

"""What should we name this fruit?"" ""Passion!"" ""..."" ""..."" ""Let's not let Todd name any more fruits."""

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop & a lobster with breast implants.. One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean."

"I wasn't there when you told me not to stay."

"I'm a simple man. I just want to be rich and powerful enough to always get what I want. Nothing more."

"Went out for a drive today in my car & bumped into an old friend... Hope he doesn't sue me."

"Fun Game: 1. Glue dark sunglasses to all pigeons in a park. 2. Poke stranger on the shoulder. 3. Whisper, ""I think we're being watched..."""

"What's the difference between a penalty shot in basketball, and a tiny curly wig designed for a bug? One is a free throw, and the other is a flea 'fro."

"A group of Jewish women are eating at a diner. Their waitress walks by and asks ""Is anything alright?"""

"[interview] HIM: What are your strengths? ME: Well, I can see dead people. HIM: Wow, interesting. Any hobbies? ME: Grave digging"