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Joke of the Day

"I'm a simple man. I just want to be rich and powerful enough to always get what I want. Nothing more."

"What do you call a policewoman who shaves her pubes? Cuntstubble"

"What's the difference between a woman and a laundry machine? When I dump a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around after"

"What kind of house is easiest to pick up? A light house."

"A deer stumbles out of the forest and says ""that's the last time I do that for two bucks."""

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your place! Knock knock Who's there? Bak bak My chemistry prof said that one today"

"[deathbed] ME: Give me that sword & I'll haunt it when I die SON: I made this [hands me cake] ME: No! [dies] CAKE: [in my voice] God damn it"

"A joke I heard about the greatest story never told"

"Did you hear the weather forecast for the hiphop festival? ...They're calling for a Lil Wayne"

"Wat did the mermaid wear to her math exam? An algae-bra."