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Joke of the Day

"Today I saw two blind people fighting I shouted ""I'm supporting the one with the knife!"" They both run away."

"What is a duck's favorite dance ? The quackstep !"

"Friend: Don't come on too strong is my dating tip. [At the restaurant] Her: Can you pass the salt, please? Me: Sorry, it's too heavy."

"How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but the lighbulb has to want to change."

"I was called a sexist today ... I said, I think you're mistaken ...its pronounced sexy."

"Hillary will be the most transparent president ever... ... because she will have every state secret sitting on an insecure server in her basement. hahahaha *cry*"

"How do you tell apart a Chinese from a Japanese? With a Geiger Counter."

"Today's episode of Wheel of Fortune has been cancelled because Jesus took the wheel."

"What's a catholic's favourite type of car? A convertible."

"Man I hate shower sex... Its hot, crowded, and i can never fit my junk into the faucet."