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Joke of the Day

"[shower song] Im all outta Dove Im soapless without you I'll never get clean Now that you are all gone *grabs shampoo mic* IM ALL OUTTA DOVE"

"Q: What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny blonde? A: One's a phony buck."

"Why were the dinosaurs so big? Because Jurassic times call for Jurassic measures"

"If someone tells you he has a centrifuge on a submarine, don't believe him! It's a subterfuge..."

"Two Italians are arguing They just keep saying ""You wanna pizza me?!"""

"A Newfie, a Quebecois, and a Native walk into a bar in Calgary. The bartender says ""Get the fuck out!"""

"What is the national bird of Afghanistan? The Boeing 757"

"Copied tweets with higher no. of RTs remind me of tht incident when Charlie Chaplin entered a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest n came 3rd."

"Older Brother: ""Hooray! School's out! I'm free! I'm free!"" Younger Brother: ""So what? I'm four!"""

"I was dating a strong, independent, black doorknob recently. She was quite difficult to handle"