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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an ape that's both extremely frugal and fearful? A cheap pansy"

"Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 20 seconds."

"I tried to start a band called ""999 megs""! Never did get a gig :("

"Hate when I lay out too close to the shoreline and the other beach goers team up to try to push me back in the water."

"""Are you working right now? Where are you working?"" Facebook is worse than my parents."

"A Czech one: God is carrying a bag of dicks... ...when he suddenly trips over a rock and all the dicks fall out. He gets pissed off: ""I'm not going to pick them up, Prague's going to be here!"""

"I go to Taco Bell and throw in random adjectives to see if they notice. ""I'll have the Cheesy Double Sweaty Burrito."""

"Everyone has a thigh gap... ...when they're doing the splits."

"Why are farmers the best at what they do? They are out standing in their field."

"I haven't gone to the washroom in 2 days No shits given"