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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard there's a new disease you can get from using Linux? It's Terminal. (OC joke.)"

"My boss said to me, ""you're the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?"" I said, ""I'm not sure; it's hard to keep track."""

"It's impossible to describe why u are angry at a parent without sounding like a lunatic. ""They wanted me to eat salad! Can u believe that?"""

"Twitter is like a very demented game of The Sims. Everyday I check to see how my people are doing and make sure they're still alive."

"I think lamps are my favorite furniture. They're always brightening up my day."

"So, I saw Simba walking today.. and he was walking too slow. So I told him ""C'mon! Mufasa""! Edited for a bit more for clarity.."

"I like my women like I like my tea Red Bush."

"My friend was doing impersonations of The A-Team. I told him they were amazing. You should have seen his Face..."

"I've always wanted to buy 2 coffees, take them to a crime scene & while handing 1 to the officer in charge ask, ""So, what do we have here?"""

"Porn addiction is a serious thing I have first hand experience."