195925

Joke of the Day

"I was so happy my mail order bride arrived today. My Wife wasn't. She did say I can use the crate as a doghouse. Odd, we don't own a dog."

"Wife:What is 10 years with me? Wife:What is 10 years with me? Husband:A second. Wife:What is $1000 for me? Husband:A coin. Wife: Ok give me a coin. Husband:Wait a second"

"You can tell a lot about a person by how early their neighbors call the cops on Thanksgiving."

"If she's freaking out, kiss her forehead, hug her & call her beautiful.. If she growls, throw chocolate at her from a safe place"

"Do you know what an Australian kiss is? It's a French kiss, ......down under!"

"I cherish a gift a dying friend gave me, strange as it is. With his last breath of life, he gave me his EpiPen. It seemed very important that I have it."

"My diet always starts on a Monday morning and ends at the donuts somebody brings into the office later that morning."

"To silence her critics who hail her as Satan, Hillary is set to launch a new post-apocalyptical video game after winning the election! It's called President Evil."

"What do you call a round knight? Sir Cumference"

"So i was making a software to help people to stop procrastinating and never finished it."