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Joke of the Day

"What's the highest thing in existence? A female's issues. They won't ever be able to get over them."

"- What do you think about the coming battle General? - God knows it will be lost. - Then why should we go for it? - To find out who is the loser."

"I have no sympathy for amateurs who make sex tapes or take nude pics of themselves and cry ""invasion of privacy"" when they fail to safeguard them and they leak to the media and public."

"I see your choices and raise you one eyebrow."

"Let's talk about sausage.... Isn't it the wurst?"

"What colour did Matthew McConaughey paint his house? All white, all white, all white..."

"You don't see faith healers in hospitals for the same reason you don't see psychics winning the lottery."

"What's the most evil thing a human being can do?"

"I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport."

"Accepting water from a salesperson is a sign of weakness. *faints from dehydration*"