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Joke of the Day

"Apple: Words with Friends Twitter: Words w strangers FB: Words w relatives Ouija: Words w dead friends Prayer: Words w imaginary friends"

"What are the four words that you least want to hear, after having blown Willie Nelson? ""I'm not Willie Nelson."""

"What's the difference between this post and a fire truck? A fire truck is red and has four wheels while this post is a complete fucking waste of your time."

"Why can't we edit tweets? Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say ""RT if you hate puppies and babies."""

"Yo momma's so fat... She was crowned dairy Queen of the food court."

"I almost hit a bunny but then i missed it by a hare."

"Survival Tip: If confronted by a dinosaur while hiking, politely but firmly explain that it is extinct."

"Sign over the urinal in Dad's favorite bar We keep this restroom clean because we aim to please ... so, you aim too, please."

"Hey baby, I know I've got an STD, but all I need is U to be a STUD"

"Why doesn't the U.S. government allow students to visit North Korea? They become victims of youth-in-asia!"